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Speak As If Your Next Word Will Be Your Last & Family Stories

Inspiration Prompt – Speak As Your Next Word Will Be Your Last

November 16th, 2009 by Avital

[Photo by: Andrew Storms]

Charles de Lint had suggested an interesting notion:

“Here’s a weird thought: What if everyone only has so many words inside of them? Then sooner or later you’d run out of words, wouldn’t you? And you’d never know when it was going to happen because everybody would have a different allotment, it would be different for everyone – the way hair colour varies, or fingerprints. I could be in the middle of a story, and then run out of words, and it’d never be finished.”

Play with this idea, what if your next word will by your last?

What if you only manage to insult but not to ask for forgiveness?
What if you only manage to receive but not to give thanks?
What if you only manage to think of an idea but not to share out loud?
What if you only manage to remember but not to tell?

“These are thought provoking questions but I will never overextend my word-quota”, you may think.

Well, think again.

Let me share a story with you.

A story about an independent woman who had survived major hardships in her life but kept moving forward. Had started a new family after her fiance perished in the holocaust. Had built a successful business. Had always made sure her hair is flawless, her lipstick is meticulously applied and her suit is perfectly ironed. Always a suit, even on a trip to the supermarket or when picking up her granddaughter from kindergarten.

This woman had a million stories to tell. Every day, at lunch time, after picking up her granddaughter and making sure she clears up her plate, she would open the big sofa bed in the guest room and tell her stories. Such wonderful stories. Books she had read. Adventures she had gone through and her granddaughter would listen with glistening eyes, asking: “please, grandma, tell me one more story”, and she did.

The years had passed and the granddaughter grew up. She didn’t need a babysitter anymore and forgot all the stories that had been told before and abandoned the stories that has not yet been told.

One day, in the spring time, the woman came by to visit her granddaughter and brought her some sweets. The granddaughter enjoyed the break and the sweets but quickly said her goodbyes, as she was busy studying for her finals.

An hour later the woman came back. Sweets in her pocket and the granddaughter thanked her and said goodbye again.

An hour later and she came back again. Sweets in her pocket again and the granddaughter started to worry and to understand.

Not long afterward Alzheimer disease was diagnosed.

Soon after that all the stories has been forgotten and lost forever.

The hasty granddaughter, if you haven’t realized by now – is me!

The word quota may be over extended and if it happens, it will take you by surprise.

So make sure you tell all the stories (and write them down). Articulate your idea in words and don’t shy away. Verbalize your gratitude. Speak with a positive note and always start with the compliment before moving on to a constructive criticism. Speak as your next word will be your last.

Share

Please share your thoughts about the idea of a finite word quota and leave a comment on this post. I love to hear your mental voice and to keep the discussion going whenever it’s possible.

via creativityprompt.com

I frequently think about why I am writing. I came across the above post and it spoke to me. The post seems to be talking about two concepts. The concept of speak as if your next word will be your last sounds like "if you can't say something nice, do not say anything at all." I see that as an extension of the Golden Rule, treat others like you want to be treated. That is a concept that I wish I had embraced while I was growing up, especially in high school. As a father, I am constantly reminding A to treat his friends and his sister like he wants to be treated. This world would be a much better place if we all put this into practice.

Don't worry, I am not going to break out into a rendition of Kumbaya.

I really appreciate the second concept from the post. One of the driving factors to my writing is to have a written record of my stories. Unlike my wife, I am not blessed with a great memory. I have to write/type things or I will not remember them. By writing, I have a record of what was going on in my life and the lives of those around me. I would like to encourage those who read this to write down their stories as well. I would really like to have a central depository of Sumner/Smith/Culbertson/McAllister stories. It bothers me that I do not really know very much about my Grandparents, let alone those that came before them. I need to make more of an effort to learn, and then to write it down, otherwise it will vanish again. So, write down your families story, and then share it with those whom you love.

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New rookie and a Meth robbery

Tonight was day one of evaluation with Jocelyn. So far she is doing fine. She is nervous and shows it in the same way as Adrian. Speed. Like 50 in a 30 type speed, which is fine if I am driving. Before I let them drive, I gave both rookies the same speech, I am a bad passenger and prone to getting car sick. Please drive slowly and obey all traffic laws. The thing is, I think that Jocelyn is actually trying to drive slowly and smoothly. Oh well, she gets an A for effort at least.
We volunteered to run a robbery call out in 50's beat, close to Newcastle and US 59. We arrived to find the complainant (victim) trying to climb over a fence and onto the patio of his apartment. Jocelyn stopped him and asked him what happened tonight. I will call him Roy and here is his version of the events. Roy and a "friend," they had known each other for three days, ate dinner at La Mexicana. Then they got into Roy's Infiniti and started driving around the Montrose area. Roy said that they ended up at a CVS. When Roy stopped the car, the friend punched him in the face and told him to leave the keys and to get out of the vehicle. Roy, in fear for his life, complied. The friend then drove off in Roy's vehicle. Roy was worried that since the friend knew where Roy lived, the friend would drive to his apartment and steal Roy's "priceless antiques". You see, Roy is an antique's dealer that also happens to be a narcotics informant for DPS. So, Roy called another friend who picked him up and drove him home where we found him.

While we were talking to Roy, another friend called him. This friend said that he was following Roy's vehicle in the Montrose area. I took Roy's phone and spoke with the friend. I asked the friend to describe the vehicle and to tell me where they were turning. Once I was able to make sure that the friend was following the correct vehicle and giving me good directions, I got on the radio and asked for other officers to look for the vehicle. I continued relaying the directions from the friend until officers were able to find the vehicle. The suspect jumped out of the vehicle and tried to run. He was not successful. Officers took him into custody. Jocelyn and I then took Roy to where his vehicle was located. After arriving, I spoke with the suspect. I will call him Dave and this is his version of the story. Dave said that he was a "hustler" and that he provided "services" for money. He met Roy a few days ago and they had seen each other every day since. Roy gave Dave money and Dave did things to and for Roy. After dinner, Dave shot up with methamphetamine. Roy drove to an adult bookstore and they went inside. Once inside, Dave started feeling weird and asked Roy for the keys. Roy gave him the keys and then Dave drove off in Roy's Infiniti.

We often get different versions of the same story from those involved. The truth is usually somewhere in the middle. We have to decide which parts of everyone's story to believe. In this case, Dave ended up getting charged with robbery. Roy had a small cut on his lip from where Roy said Dave had hit him and Dave admitted to taking Roy's Infiniti. That fits the classic definition of robbery, taking someone's stuff by force. It would not surprise me if Roy provides the money to get Dave out of jail. Roy appeared upset that his new "friend" was going to jail. Now he will have to find another "friend." Unfortunately, there is not a shortage of those willing to take care of Roy's "needs" for a few dollars.

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Craig sex and How old do I look?

Adrian finished evaluating last Saturday. I was supposed to start evaluating Jocelyn tonight, but she took the night off. Since I did not start with Jocelyn, Adrian was my partner. The desk sergeant will usually leave a rookie with their evaluator after they are finished with evaluation unless the evaluator has a new rookie or requests a break. Sometimes it is nice to ride solo for a night or two.

Early in the shift we were asked to go north up into two district to check by with another unit. That unit had a female in custody and he needed a female officer to check by and search his female prisoner. We arrived at the small seedy motel on the North Freeway and found the other unit. The first thing that I noticed about the motel was the office. Most motels have a nice, well lit office that you walk into and talk to the clerk. Not this place. This office was protected by bullet proof glass and had a sliding drawer to pass payment and keys through. High class. They probably had an hourly rate, but I did not inquire.

Adrian spoke to the other officer and then searched the female prisoner. We decided to transport her to jail, so Adrian put her in the backseat of our shop. About that time, the vice officers that arrested her came over to talk to us. Not surprisingly based on the motel, the female had been arrested for prostitution. The vice officers had found her through Craig's List. It is nice of Craig's List to allow you to sell your car, furniture, and booty, all in one place. I wonder what her ad in Craig's List was like? 1995 Honda Accord in good shape for $2000, 32 inch Sony TV like new for $200, and sex with nasty 28 year old me for $200? By the way, her first name was Gwensheca. No comment.

The vice officers contacted her and set up a meet and greet. The first officer went into the room in plain clothes. He told her that he had a party of 6 males that were all ready for action and willing to pay. She said, "That sounds fine and I will do whatever for $200 per guy". The vice officer said that sounds great and then called his boys. The female decided to pose in a provocative fashion on the bed to greet the arriving customers. The next male into the room was another vice officer, but he was wearing his raid vest that said POLICE across the chest. The female screamed "NO" and started crying. Poor girl, she was thinking that she was about to make a quick $1200, not go to jail for solicitation. A short time later, Adrian searched her purse. Surprisingly, the only drug Adrian found was Vivarin, the caffeine pill alertness aid. I am guessing that 6 guys who were paying $200 each would have kept her alert, but who knows? Adrian also found condoms in her purse. But she only had 2. I guess she was going to risk it with the other 4 guys.

Later as we were driving around, Adrian asked me "How old are you?" I was completely honest and said, "31". Not really, I told her the truth, 39. She responded, "Wow, I would not have guessed that you were that old." How exactly was I supposed to take that? That I look good for my age, or that I act younger than my age, or that I am old and she was just being polite because I was her evaluator? Anyway, it made me laugh, and that is always a good thing.

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Getting my point across to a child

After A finished his homework, he asked to go outside and play with some neighborhood children. I said fine, and he put on his jacket and raced outside. He came back a short time later, grabbed some gloves because his hands were cold and his scooter. Just as I was about to call him in for dinner, I saw him riding his scooter up the driveway towards the garage. There was another child, C, trailing behind A. I opened the backdoor and A asked if they could play the Wii. I said sure. They came inside and I set the Wii up for them.

They decided to play Super Smash Brothers Brawl. That is a game that I do not understand. When you are setting up the game, there are a bunch of characters in squares on the screen. Each player can select whichever character they want. A picked his player and it was C's turn to pick. He was not sure which to pick and had some questions. When he tried to show A which one he had questions about, C stood up, went over to the TV and touched the screen. I asked C very nicely to refrain from touching the screen. (I did not use the word "refrain" with C) I believe I said, "please do not touch the TV". Simple and straight forward. Easy to understand. A's little sister A2, who is 3, understood.

C picked his player and they played their game. When it was time for the next game, C again stood up, walked over to the TV, and touched the screen. I again asked him very nicely to stop touching the TV. His response "why?" Because I said so. He walked toward the TV again. I said, "C, please to not touch the TV." He said, "What will happen?" I said, "It does not matter what will happen, please do not touch the TV." At this point, I was starting to become a little annoyed. I was trying not to raise my voice. Mainly because it was a nice day outside, and the windows of the house were open. Again, he said, "Why not? What will happen if I touch the TV?" That was it for me. I said, "If you touch the TV again, you will not play the Wii at this house again". Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner. That got my point across. C sat down and started to use his words to ask A what he wanted to know. Sometimes you have to re-phrase things with children. If one way does not work, try something a little different.

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Think like a wolf, not a sheep

Tonight we were dispatched to a robbery with weapons that had just occurred. A robbery in Texas is defined as; in the course of committing theft, a person causes or threatens or places another person in fear of imminent bodily injury or death. For example, a thug comes up to you, knocks you down and takes your stuff. You have just been robbed. A person can be robbed, a vehicle or house can be burglarized.

A couple in their twenties moved here four months ago from Australia. They live in a very nice brand new apartment building that is close to Lakewood Church. They are expecting their first child to be born in May of next year. Tonight, they decided to go out to a wine tasting bar. Strange place for a pregnant female, but she did not partake in the tasting. The bar is four blocks from their apartment complex. The weather was nice and they decided to walk the four blocks to the bar. They had a nice time at the bar and began their walk home around 10:45 PM. As they were walking down a not well lit side street, they noticed two males. These two males were walking as well. They were coming from the opposite direction walking toward the married couple.

Something about the two males made the couple feel uneasy. Amazingly, they actually paid attention to their intuition and turned around. Unfortunately, two other males came out from another side street and started walking in their direction. The couple was in the middle of the block with males approaching them from both sides. They quickly realized that they were in a bad position. They decided to make a run for it. There was a small side street between them and the males. They turned back around and started running for the side street. They did not make it. The two males from behind them knocked down the female, sat on her, and then snatched her purse away from her. The other two males went after the husband. They caught him, and threatened to shoot him if he did not give them everything that he had. The suspects did not show a gun, but they had a hand under their shirt acting like they had one. The husband did the smart thing and handed over everything. The suspects then took off and the couple ran to their apartment building.
The couple was lucky. They were not hurt. They could easily have been severely injured or even killed. They listened to their intuition and experienced the "fight or flight" impulse. In their situation, it was probably a good decision to run. The husband was not going to fight off 4 males by himself.

Take a minute and put yourself in the same situation. What would you do?

What are you prepared to do? Do you have a plan? Have you talked to your spouse about what to do in these types of situations? Jen and I have talked about some situations. In most situations, she is to run away and call 911. That way I do not have to worry about her, just about myself. If the kids are with us, she grabs the kids and takes off for the same reason. We have not discussed this particular situation. This is the first time that I have seen suspects in this area "hunt" like raptors. Usually they all come at you from the same direction, not from multiple directions. In this situation, I would instruct Jen to hide between cars nearby, take out her phone and call 911. That way I can take out my pistol and take care of things without her in the way.

I have the benefit of having a pistol with me all of the time and of extensive training. Without the pistol and the training, I would react differently. Even with those tools, sometimes the best option will be to run. I am fine with that. The important thing is to think about these situations. The best thing is to avoid the situation completely. Be smart about where you park and walk and pay attention to your surroundings. And, get a concealed handgun permit.

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A couple of Germans

Day four evaluating Adrian and she is still doing well. She claims that she is still anxious about evaluation. I keep telling her that she is doing fine, but I am not sure that she believes me. I tell her that I can document poor performance as easily as good performance. I am not just giving away good scores. Early in the shift we volunteered for an assault report in the "gayborhood". Right in the middle of my beat is the nexus of the city's homosexual population. We arrived to find four males standing in front of their apartment complex. One of the males was dressed in drag and another had powder on his face and a french manicure.

They stated that they were both dressed in drag and were walking down the street. They were on their way to perform at a local club. An acquaintance jumped out from behind a vehicle and punched one of the males in the jaw, cracking his tooth. They fell to the ground and the other male dressed in drag jumped in to help. After a brief scuffle, the males in dresses were able to free themselves from their attacker. The suspect ran off and the males walked home and then called the police. While Adrian was getting all of the information for the report, two other males walked up. They had a question for me.

They stated that they were from Germany and were in town for the weekend. They were staying downtown and had called for a cab. Once in the cab they told the cabdriver that they wanted to go to a bar. The cabdriver dropped them off in the middle of the gayborhood. The Germans had no idea where they were until they walked into the closest bar. They quickly left after observing the waiters. The waiters were wearing tidy whities and shoes and that is all. Needless to say, they were a little shocked. I told them that I understood. The first time that I had to go into that particular bar for a call, I was a little shocked as well.

They said that they are members of the German Air Defense and have been training in El Paso for the past 6 months. It seems that Germany will not allow them to train with live anti-aircraft ammunition. We will, so they are training in west Texas. After getting to know them a little, I told them that there were two possible reasons why the cabdriver brought them to the gayborhood. Either the cabdriver liked the scenery in the area, or he thought that the two Germans were homosexuals. This made the Germans fall over laughing. I told them that we would give them a ride to a more appropriate part of town once we were finished gathering information for the report.

The Germans piled into the backseat and we took off for Mid-town. On the way I asked them if they wanted a nice place to get drinks, or good music, or beautiful women. They replied all three would be great. We dropped them off close to Pub Fiction. Right after I let them out of the backseat, three gorgeous blondes walked out of the Pub. The Germans smiled and said this place looked great. They handed me a camera and I took their picture by the patrol car. I am an ambassador for the city. :^D Good times.

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OT, property crime, and a strange question

I came in to work a little early today. I had signed up to work 4 hours of patrol overtime in the Upper Kirby District. The district is a rather wealthy part of Houston that has recently experienced an increase in property crime. My regular shop (patrol vehicle) was not available so I was given another. The air would only blow on full speed in that shop. That was not going to work for 12 hours, so I exchanged keys and tried again. Once in the shop, I heard a familiar voice over the radio as the dispatcher. I met her when I worked evening shift for a few months at the beginning of my career. After evening shift, Courtney and I would go to headquarters and work out. While we were there we met Liz who was also working out. She was the regular evening shift dispatcher. We got to be friends. Let me just say that being friends with the dispatcher is a good thing. It can be a very long shift if you are not on good terms with the dispatcher. I have seen Liz made life absolutely miserable for an officer after they were rude to her over the radio. On a side note, Liz is also a dental assistant and she assisted Mike when he took his Dental Boards.

While on overtime, you are required to show some type of production. There is not a quota or anything like that, but they expect you to do more than just drive around. On evening shift you have to constantly check the computer for calls for service. There are quite a few evening shift officers and the calls are claimed quickly. I was able to jump on a few calls and ended up with one report. Not surprisingly, the report involved property crime. A female left her vehicle parked overnight in a strip shopping center and when she returned the driver's side window had been shattered. Nothing had been taken from the vehicle. Normally, a radar detector, iPod, camera, GPS, laptop, or some other type of electronic devise had been left in plain site and stolen from the vehicle.

PAUSE for a quick public service announcement: When you leave your vehicle, do not leave anything of value visible in the passenger area. Resist the urge to stop at the bar on the way home from work and leave your laptop in the backseat. Do not put your purse on the floor of the vehicle and expect it to still be there when you return.

Overtime went by quickly and it was time for another day of evaluating Adrian. We are on day three out of five. She is still very nervous, but she has reined in her driving. I am thankful that he nervous energy in no longer being transferred to the gas pedal. I found out that another rookie is waiting in the wings for me to finish evaluating. Her name is Jocelyn. That will make three females in a row. Strange.

During our shift, we did two more property crime reports. One person came outside to find someone else in their vehicle rummaging around. They chased off the suspect. They leave the doors to their vehicles unlocked because that way the suspects do not break the windows in order to look around inside the vehicle. Good solution, but it is sad that it has come to that. The other report was for another vehicle burglary. A female left her laptop on the backseat and went into a bar. She returned later to her vehicle and found the passenger side window had been shattered and her laptop was gone. She had watched a little too much CSI. She noticed a footprint on the passenger seat and the wanted us to take pictures of the footprint. She also wanted us to checked the dirt around the vehicle and make plaster casts of any possible matching footprints for evidence. Okie dokie.

We made quite a few traffic stops as well. One particular driver made an illegal left turn, was driving without his license, did not have an inspection sticker, his registration expired in November of 2007, and his vehicle still had Nevada plates even though he had been in Texas for 30 months. Texas gives you 30 days to register your vehicle once you establish residency. He knew his driver's license number so we were able to verify his identity. To top things off, two traffic warrants had been issued for his arrest. They were from 1999. They could not be verified, so he was not going to be arrested. I went up to talk to him while Adrian was writing the ticket. I told him about the warrants and that he was not going to be arrested tonight. He said, "I am not trying to be a smart ass, but aren't the warrants arrest warrants? Why am I not being arrested"? That is not a usual question for us. Why are you not arresting me? Well, because the City spent millions of dollars on a new computer system a few years ago and it routinely goes down at night so we can't verify warrants. Your lucky night, now please sign here.

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Thanks for serving Dad

Like most little boys, I was fascinated with the military while growing up. I can remember my Dad showing me his service metals when I was a kid. They were kept in a box that was in a desk that now resides in my house. I would go and pull out the metals from time to time to look at them. I wondered what my Dad did to earn them. I made up grand stories about how they were earned that I would then go act out in my room or the backyard. As I got older, the fascination continued.

I can remember staying up and listening to the initial assault of Desert Storm over the radio while I was on a retreat with my fraternity in college. I minored in history for both of my degrees and I took quite a few military history classes. For a few years every book that I read dealt with the military. I was particularly interested in the Special Forces. Throughout my teen years and into my twenties I often thought of serving in the military. Initially, I wanted to fly planes after watching Top Gun. Later, after graduate school I thought of applying to Officer Candidate School. I did not have any career plans and serving in the military appealed to me. I never applied to OCS, but I did do some research into the possibility.

As I looked into the military and read the books and the stories, I was always amazed by the sacrifice and dedication of those that served. That brings me to my Dad. He was an electrician living in Las Cruces and had just married my Mom when he got the notice in the mail from the Selective Service. At that time, the draft worked a little differently than later in the war. You were classified as a 1-A candidate if you were between 18 1/2 and 25 and the older males were drafted first. My Dad was in the upper range of the age bracket and had a skill that was in demand for the war. He was drafted, went to Basic Training and then did a combat tour in Vietnam. He returned home to my Mom, went to college and had a son.

Vietnam was not a popular war. Soldiers were not appreciated when then returned from service like they are today. Quite the contrary actually, they were vilified. They were pulled from their lives, sent to fight a war that they did not understand, and then looked down upon when they returned home. That sucks.

Dad, I want to say thank you for the sacrifice that you made and for honorably serving in the military. That makes me proud and I am honored to be your son.

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Feeling like a bad parent today

Recently on a Facebook status update, Jen stated that she "hopes that my children will be able to forgive me for all of my shortcomings one day." I understand exactly how she feels. There are days when I feel like I do nothing but harm my children, especially Austin. This evening Jen caught me staring at an older photo of Austin, he was probably about 3 in the picture. She asked what was wrong and I said nothing was wrong. What was going through my head was "look at the cute little boy before his father screwed him up". Definitely morose, but that was my state of mind.

To add a little perspective, Austin absolutely adores me. He hates when I am not home because of work. He asks every night if he will see me the next day. He wants me to take him to his games and to karate. He wants me to coach his teams. He just wants to hang out with his dad, unless he is playing a video game or watching a movie, but that is beside the point. Back to the point...
What brought this on today? It saddens me that Austin is constantly apologizing. I guess it is my tone or the way that I look at him after he asks me a question, but all to often his question is followed with "never mind" or "I'm sorry". Every time that happens I feel like an inept parent. I want him to feel comfortable coming to me and talking. I want him to have the freedom to ask me anything. I do not want him to think that he is bothering me or annoying me with questions. If he hesitates now with questions about gameboys or iPhones, what will happen later when he is wondering about drugs or sex? When he comes to me with questions or requests, I need to stop what I am doing, give him my full attention, pay attention to my facial expression and tone, and forget about whatever it was that I was doing. He deserves that much from me.

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Twentieth Reunion Day 2

Day 2 of Jen's 20th reunion began a little earlier than we expected. Unbeknownst to us, Addy had contracted a stomach virus and at 4 AM, it started to effect her. Jen tended to Addy while I did the initial clean up and then Jen went into hyper cleaning mode. Jen absolutely despises stomach viruses and anytime someone in the house gets one, out comes the yellow gloves, lysol, bleach, and other various chemicals. So for the next few hours, Jen tended to Addy and cleaned at the same time. She is an outstanding multi-tasker.

The stomach virus threw our plans for the rest of the day into chaos. It was time to roll with things and hope for the best. I took Austin to his flag football game. His team won again, they are undefeated with one game left in the season. At the game, I asked my parents if they minded still watching the kids for us that evening so that we could attend the reunion. They said that they had been around sick kids in the past and that they would watch them for us. Big props for that to Mom & Dad. Courtney also came to the game and she took Avery home with her, thanks. After the football game I took Austin to a birthday party. I do not usually go to the hundreds of birthday parties to which my kids are invited. Austin & I had a good time at the party, but thanks Jen for usually taking the kids for me.

We returned home and loaded up the family truckster and took the kids to my parent's house. Addy had not gotten sick since about 7 AM and was in good spirits. Jen and I arrived at the Moody Gardens Hotel around 4 PM. Jen wanted a snack and I wanted a margarita so we headed for the lounge on the top floor of the hotel. We found out that they do not offer any food, just a bowl of mixed nuts. The waitress said that they also have gold fish crackers. We asked for some crackers, a coke, and a margarita. Another Jennifer arrived a short time later and met us in the lounge. She ordered a small bottle of champagne. She finished it and felt pretty good going to the reunion. When the waitress delivered our bill, we found out that we were charged for the gold fish crackers. I guess the 200 percent profit in the alcohol was not enough for Moody Gardens.

We returned to our room and a short time later heard Terry & Mary in the hallway. They were supposed to have the room right next to us. Terry used the key that the desk gave him, walked into the room and there was a woman working on a computer in the room. He quickly said sorry and backed out the door and headed to the desk to get things fixed. Terry returned a short time later and found the new room to be unoccupied. It was about time to head down to the reunion, so we all got dressed up and then met in the hallway.

We were one of the first to arrive at the reunion, it was held in a ballroom at the hotel. There was a bar in the corner, a buffet on the other end, a dance floor, and about 20 round tables that sat 10 to a table. The DJ arrived and started spinning the tunes and dinner was started. The food was good, salad, chicken, rice, sliced steak, veggies, and rolls. There was iced tea on the tables and each person got three tickets for drinks. I stated with a margarita and Jen had a glass of wine. About halfway through dinner, Jen noticed that there was a nat in her wine. Jen is not confrontational and before I could do anything about it, Aimee who was sitting with us called over a waiter. She said, "Her wine has a bug in it, can you get her another glass". He scurried off and returned with a fresh glass filled to the rim. After dinner it was time to mingle. A few times Jen was caught my eye from a few tables away and waved me over. I thought that she wanted to introduce me. No, she was calling over camera boy. I dutifully took a few pictures. I did not take the big camera, so we only have 30-40 pictures instead of 300-400 pictures.

Eventually a few people made it out onto the dance floor. Every time the floor started to fill up and there was some momentum and people were enjoying themselves, the DJ would change the music completely and kill the vibe. That happened at least 4 times throughout the evening. Later in the evening, the DJ played 40 minutes of Tejano music. There were about 12 hispanic people in the ballroom and half of them worked there. I felt like I was in a taqueria on Navigation by the ship channel. It just seemed like a strange selection by the DJ. Terry was on the dance floor quite a bit throughout the evening and eventually Mary and Jen joined him out there. They were able to get me out there for about 10 minutes. Luckily I did not pull anything and there is no video of the event, that I know of.

At one point I was standing by our table and a woman walked up to me. She said, "Who are you?" I responded, "I did not graduate from LaPorte, I married in." She said, "Good enough" and walked away. The most interesting outfit of the night had to go to a graduate's date. She wore a black dress that stopped just south of her rear. Almost the entire back of the dress was see through. Her black panties was on display to everyone. I am not here to judge, but only strippers and porn stars wear dresses like that. It made for a few laughs.

The reunion closed down at midnight and the after party was at Woody's on the seawall. We decided to skip the bar and headed up the room. Terry ordered some dessert and we unwound and discussed the evening over chocolate cake and Italian creme cake. When I noticed Jen starting to fall asleep while leaning against the headboard in their room, I knew it was time to call it a night. Overall, it really seemed like everyone had fun. Jen had a great time talking to all of her old friends. People seemed more open and less clique-ish than at the 10 year reunion and there is already talk on Facebook of a 25 year reunion.

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Jen's 20th Reunion, The First Night

How time flies. I can't say that it feels like I just graduated from high school. But it is still hard to believe that it has been over 20 years. My 20th reunion was last year up in the Dallas area. I did not attend. The one person that I would have been interested in seeing was not going to attend. Actually, I do not really keep in touch with anyone from high school. However, I have recently gotten reacquainted with a few friends through Facebook, which has been great. I am not sure if my lack of friends from high school is because I moved away right after high school or because I spent most of my time playing golf while I was in high school. Whatever the reason, it would not have been real fun to sit at my reunion without really knowing anyone.

Skip ahead to this year, and it was time for Jen's 20th reunion. She definitely wanted to attend. Jen has kept i touch with a few people through the years and has reconnected with many others through Facebook. Her class president did a good job through Facebook of planning the event, inviting everyone, and keeping everyone informed about the reunion events during the weekend. A few people met at a bar on Thursday night, but our first night was Friday. The night began with a catered dinner that was served in the high school cafeteria. Since it was an alumni dinner, Jen's sister Courtney attended as well. She somehow persuaded Mike to come with her and he looked very nice in his collared shirt. Terry and Mary met us at the high school and we all ate together. The graduates kept saying how "institutional" the cafeteria looked. To me, it looked like any other high school cafeteria. It was white and a little run down, but not too bad. After the dinner, we all took a walk around the high school. The graduates would make comments like "I spent a lot of time in that room" or "It did not look like this when we in school". I will say that the school seemed huge. Apparently they have connected all of the buildings together since Jen was in school. I have not been back to my high school since graduating, but I do not remember it being that large.

After the tour we left the school and started the walk over to the stadium for the homecoming football game. As we were walking, we ran into a group of people that Jen knew. So, Courtney & Mike and Terry & Mary hung around for a few minutes, and then they walked to the stadium. I was not so lucky. The people that we ran into were not going to the game, so any catching up had to happen then. After about 15 minutes, I started getting text messages from Mike and Terry asking if we were ever coming to the game. The best one of the bunch was this jewel from Mike, "Our baby will be born by the time you get here". Classic. That still makes me laugh. Eventually we made it to the game and found a place to sit in the grandstands. The game was extremely boring. LaPorte crushed South Houston. At least LaPorte knows how to schedule a homecoming opponent, unlike the University of Missouri. The Tigers scheduled Texas for homecoming and got boat raced right out of their stadium by halftime. But I digress...

During halftime of the game, they had the homecoming king and queen ceremony. They announced all of the candidates and they all walked across the turf with a parent while the announcer blathered on and on about their accomplishments. During this, Courtney heard a name that she recognized. One of the candidates for homecoming king was the son of her high school basketball coach. He was born the year that she graduated from high school. I think that made her feel old.

After the game, it was time for the after party at Outriggers. A small bar on the water underneath the Kemah bridge. The parking was less than ideal. Anytime the tide effects the amount of parking for a business, it might be time to look for an alternative. There were quite a few people at the bar. They had a live band out on the bottom deck. That is where the above picture was taken, it is Mandy, Laura, and Jen. We left before most. The smoke started to bother us and we needed to rescue my parents who we nice enough to watch the kids so we could attend. Overall, we had a nice time and it was a good start to the weekend.

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Surprise, another rookie

On my way to the extra job yesterday morning, my supervisor sent me a text message letting me know that I would be starting evaluation with a new rookie tonight. Ladybug and I finished last week, so I figured that another one would be coming soon. Her name is Adrian. She is 29, but looks 20. She has a college degree and prior military experience. She is as quiet as a mouse. This is quite a change from Ladybug who talked non-stop. She has had three good trainers who all have said that she did well.

After roll call, she walked up to me and you would have thought she was about to be fed to the lions by the look on her face. To say she was nervous would be an understatement. I can understand being a little anxious before evaluation. It is a nerve racking experience. But she looked like she was about to experience vapor lock. In order to get her to relax, I knew that all of my personal and psychological skills were about to be tested.

Some of the other evaluators, especially on evening shift, seem to take pride in stressing out the rookies. The evaluators will not talk to them during the shift. The rookie does not get any feedback on how they are doing until they get their grades the following day. The evaluator will sit or stand behind or beside them the entire shift with their arms crossed. I look at evaluation a little differently. I try to get the rookie to relax. I want them calm and breathing normally, especially when driving me around.

So we got into the patrol vehicle. Then I began "the talk". With each new probationary I have a short talk that I will share with them. It is a different talk depending upon if we are training or evaluating. The evaluation talk has the word "relax" in it about 10 times. One of the things that I stress, is that I am a bad passenger. I hate not being in control of the vehicle. Drives me crazy. I tell the rookie that I get motion sick and that they need to drive like I am their 90 year old grandmother. This usually gets the point across and they drive nice and smooth and slow. Not Adrian. So far she drives like her hair is on fire. The tires do not spin at every red light, but they have spun a few times. She slams on the gas and then slams on the brakes. Not exactly smooth. I am trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that this is because she is still not really breathing. She still looks at me like I am a hungry lion and she is a baby gazelle. Hopefully, after tonight this will change at least a little bit. As far as the evaluating is going, she is doing fine. Just still a little nervous.

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Slow but interesting

I have been patrolling the streets for a little over ten years now. And it amazes me every year how slow it gets on night shift once the weather starts to cool down. As soon as the night time temperature starts creeping below 65, everyone stays inside. Even most of the crackheads, dealers, and trannies stay indoors. This is especially true on the weekday nights. Now, nothing will keep people inside on Friday & Saturday nights. With everyone staying inside, it would stand to reason that more domestic violence and family disturbances would occur. I do not have any statistical data to justify this, but it does not seem to be the case.

Tonight, Ladybug who is still with me, and I checked by on an assault that had just occurred. It was the male's birthday and they were celebrating with his family out in Katy. The female, who is 5 months pregnant, got tired and wanted to go home. They left Katy, but the male was upset. He kept getting more upset as they drove home. Once they arrived home, the male really flipped out and started pushing the female, eventually shoving her down onto a bed. He then jumped on her, grabbed her hands, and put them around his neck telling her to choke him. Weird. Then he destroyed everything in the apartment except for the flatscreen TV. She was finally able to lock herself in the bathroom and call 911. Unfortunately, we arrived about 30 seconds after he left. She went on to tell us that he had been violent in the past. In the prior incident, he hit her in the head with the butt end of a shotgun. We then asked her if she wanted to press charges against this fine fellow. And she hesitated.

What? First he hits you in the head with the butt end of a shotgun and then later he pushes you around the apartment and destroys everything. Why are you not sure that you want to press charges? I understand that it must be scary. But sometimes you have to make the tough decision for you and your unborn baby. Fortunately, in domestic violence situations, we do not need the female's cooperation to press charges. The primary unit ended up writing a detailed report and filing a to-be warrant on the male with the District Attorney's office.

A little while later, we were dispatched to a Jack in the Box. Someone had fallen asleep in the drive through. We arrived to find a black male driver and a white female passenger both unconscious in the vehicle. The driver's side window was down, the vehicle was on, and the vehicle was in park. Ladybug went to the driver's side and woke up the driver. He woke up very quickly. Normally in these situations, it takes some effort to wake up the unconscious. Ladybug got him out of the vehicle and sent him around back of the vehicle to me. Ladybug then went to the female passenger. She was much harder to wake up. Indicating that she was more intoxicated than the driver.

As I started searching the driver, I began questioning him. I was trying to determine where he lived, where they had been that night, and just how intoxicated he was. He said that he lived on Missouri, close to South Beach. That was good news, they were close to home. He said that they had been out drinking. That was obvious. He said that he had pulled into the parking lot after realizing that he should not be driving in order to sober up. Good idea, bad execution. They had gone to a bar on Washington. I asked him where he thought he was, and after some thinking he responded with "Los Angeles". BUZZZZZ, wrong answer. Then he stated that he had recently returned to Houston after spending a month in Los Angeles. That sounded more reasonable. Throughout the questioning, he was very polite and seemed to be telling the truth.

I left him by the trunk of the vehicle and went to talk with Ladybug. She said that the female was conscious but still a little out of it. I asked the drunk female who the driver of the vehicle was and where he lived and she gave me the correct answers. I then asked Ladybug what she wanted to do. She was not sure. I told her that we had three options; 1. arrest them both for public intoxication and tow the vehicle 2. arrest the driver for DWI and the passenger for public intoxication and tow the vehicle 3. with the business's permission, leave the vehicle in the parking lot and give them a courtesy ride home. We decided on option three, leave the vehicle in the parking lot and then give them a ride home. Since he woke up quickly, he was not that intoxicated. He tried to get off the road and sleep it off, just made the poor choice of pulling into the drive through. He lived close by was honest with me when I asked him questions.

We put them in the backseat, and he was able to give me the correct directions to his house and we were there in 3 minutes. After we let them out of the backseat, he was very appreciative. He said that he was amazed that the police had treated him "like a human". He said that his previous encounters with the police had not gone so well. I told him to learn from the experience. Next time, take a cab home or have a designated driver.

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Another trial

At work I make a few traffic stops every night. In the past it was for the court overtime. Now it is for training purposes. Traffic stops are a very important part of policing. A lot of crimes are solved and criminals are put in jail from traffic stops. For example, the man responsible for the Oklahoma City bombing was caught because of a traffic stop. Since there is no such thing as a routine traffic stop, I like to do a few every night with my probationary officers. The more stops that they make, the better they will get at them. Due to the number of traffic stops that I make, I get quite a few drunk drivers.

Back in December of 2008, Kai, my probationary at the time, and I stopped a vehicle that did not have headlights on at night and made an illegal left turn where prohibited by sign. The driver turned out to be intoxicated. I called for a DWI Task Force unit. He made the scene and handled the field sobriety tests and processed the DWI. The driver decided to submit to a breath test and she blew a .14. The legal limit is .08. I have never had to go to trail on a DWI case where the defendant submitted a breath test. Well, there is a first time for everything.

The assistant district attorney, ADA, called me and said that the case was going to trial. The defendant had been offered a plea bargain and had turned it down. The ADA thought that they were going to go with a "pretty girl" defense. Sometimes attractive people get off just because they are attractive. Since it was 11 months after the traffic stop, the ADA refreshed my memory. It was not a particularly memorable DWI except that the passenger was drunker than the driver and was dressed like Srg. Pepper. Strange. The ADA told me to be in court at 11 AM on Monday and that I should be done testifying before lunch.

I arrived in the court at 11 AM and was surprised to see that there was not a jury. The ADA informed me that they did not have enough morning panels of jurors, so they were hoping to get an afternoon panel. I was told to be back by 3 PM. At least I was getting paid for being there. I returned at 3 PM and I was on the stand testifying by 3:30 PM. Since I was the officer that made the traffic stop, I was the first witness called by the State. Using me, the State had to prove probable cause for the traffic stop. That was easy, an illegal left turn and driving at night without headlights. After answering the ADA's questions, it was the defense attorney's turn to question me.

He quickly gave away his strategy, at least with me. He tried to show the jury that every intoxication factor that the defendant exhibited could be explained away as something other than intoxication. The funny thing is he is correct. The defendant had five factors that led us to believe that she was intoxicated, she made an illegal left turn, she was driving at night without headlights, there was a strong alcoholic beverage odor coming from the vehicle. the defendant had bloodshot glassy eyes, and slurred speech. If you take any one of those factors, they can be explained as something other than intoxication. For example, bloodshot glassy eyes can also mean that someone is fatigued. But, if you add all 5 factors together, they point to intoxication. The defense attorney asked me the same questions 5 different ways trying to get me to slip up and contradict myself. He tried putting words in my mouth. He did his job. I was finally released from court at 4:30 PM. Three more officers testified after I did over the course of the following day. Then the case was given to the jury and they did their job by rendering a guilty verdict. The defendant should have taken the plea bargain.

It is amazing how much time, money, and effort goes into prosecuting and defending a Class B Misdemeanor. It is ridiculous that a DWI is only a Class B Misdemeanor. There needs to be a greater deterrent. Recently a man with three prior DWI convictions in Harris County ran over a 6 year old girl while he was driving drunk again. Something needs to change.

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Austin & the pastor

Over the course of his short life, Austin has professed his faith in Christ a few times. He professed his faith again during vacation Bible school at our church this past summer. As a result, he was invited to participate in a new believer's class during his regular Sunday school hour. The class came with a book. Jen and I went through the book with him. We talked with him about his faith and what it meant. We then talked to each other about his answers to our questions. We both believe that he is old enough to understand his faith and belief in Christ as his savior.

Austin then expressed a desire to follow Christ in believer's baptism. I sent our pastor, Dr. Creech a message through Facebook. We scheduled a time for Austin to talk with Dr. Creech about his faith. Today was the day. I picked up Austin after his Sunday school class and he was very anxious. He thought that it was going to be a test and he would give the wrong answers. We found Dr. Creech and he invited us back to his office. Jen, Addy, Austin, and myself all sat down. Dr. Creech then started asking Austin about his faith and beliefs. He asked Austin what he thought sin was and why he believed in Christ. He asked why he wanted to be baptized and why he needed to follow Christ to gain eternal life. Austin relaxed and gave some good and honest answers that were consistent with conversations that we have had with him in the past. After Dr. Creech was satisfied that Austin did in fact believe, he asked if we had a time in mind for the baptism. Yes we do, and it will be the Sunday before Thanksgiving.

Dr. Creech then asked Austin if he had any questions. His first question impressed us, his second did not. First question, "When you are preaching, how do you remember everything?" Second question, "Where did you buy that chair?" The mind of an 8 year old.

Dr. Creech then took us up to the baptistry. He showed Austin the room where he would change clothes. Austin was impressed with the waders that Dr. Creech wears during baptisms. He then took Austin down into the baptistry, it was empty. He explained that the lights would go down and where he needed to stand and all of the other things. After that he showed Austin the projection room and Dr. Creech and Austin made hand shadows in front of the screen. Dr. Creech did a great job of putting Austin at ease and making Austin and us feel very welcome. We are looking forward to that Sunday and hope those that live close can come to see him be baptized.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

A boy, his dog, & an iPhone