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Monday, November 23, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Speak As If Your Next Word Will Be Your Last & Family Stories
Inspiration Prompt – Speak As Your Next Word Will Be Your Last
November 16th, 2009 by Avital
[Photo by: Andrew Storms]Charles de Lint had suggested an interesting notion:
“Here’s a weird thought: What if everyone only has so many words inside of them? Then sooner or later you’d run out of words, wouldn’t you? And you’d never know when it was going to happen because everybody would have a different allotment, it would be different for everyone – the way hair colour varies, or fingerprints. I could be in the middle of a story, and then run out of words, and it’d never be finished.”
Play with this idea, what if your next word will by your last?
What if you only manage to insult but not to ask for forgiveness?
What if you only manage to receive but not to give thanks?
What if you only manage to think of an idea but not to share out loud?
What if you only manage to remember but not to tell?“These are thought provoking questions but I will never overextend my word-quota”, you may think.
Well, think again.
Let me share a story with you.
A story about an independent woman who had survived major hardships in her life but kept moving forward. Had started a new family after her fiance perished in the holocaust. Had built a successful business. Had always made sure her hair is flawless, her lipstick is meticulously applied and her suit is perfectly ironed. Always a suit, even on a trip to the supermarket or when picking up her granddaughter from kindergarten.
This woman had a million stories to tell. Every day, at lunch time, after picking up her granddaughter and making sure she clears up her plate, she would open the big sofa bed in the guest room and tell her stories. Such wonderful stories. Books she had read. Adventures she had gone through and her granddaughter would listen with glistening eyes, asking: “please, grandma, tell me one more story”, and she did.
The years had passed and the granddaughter grew up. She didn’t need a babysitter anymore and forgot all the stories that had been told before and abandoned the stories that has not yet been told.
One day, in the spring time, the woman came by to visit her granddaughter and brought her some sweets. The granddaughter enjoyed the break and the sweets but quickly said her goodbyes, as she was busy studying for her finals.
An hour later the woman came back. Sweets in her pocket and the granddaughter thanked her and said goodbye again.
An hour later and she came back again. Sweets in her pocket again and the granddaughter started to worry and to understand.
Not long afterward Alzheimer disease was diagnosed.
Soon after that all the stories has been forgotten and lost forever.
The hasty granddaughter, if you haven’t realized by now – is me!
The word quota may be over extended and if it happens, it will take you by surprise.
So make sure you tell all the stories (and write them down). Articulate your idea in words and don’t shy away. Verbalize your gratitude. Speak with a positive note and always start with the compliment before moving on to a constructive criticism. Speak as your next word will be your last.
Share
Please share your thoughts about the idea of a finite word quota and leave a comment on this post. I love to hear your mental voice and to keep the discussion going whenever it’s possible.
I frequently think about why I am writing. I came across the above post and it spoke to me. The post seems to be talking about two concepts. The concept of speak as if your next word will be your last sounds like "if you can't say something nice, do not say anything at all." I see that as an extension of the Golden Rule, treat others like you want to be treated. That is a concept that I wish I had embraced while I was growing up, especially in high school. As a father, I am constantly reminding A to treat his friends and his sister like he wants to be treated. This world would be a much better place if we all put this into practice.
Don't worry, I am not going to break out into a rendition of Kumbaya.
I really appreciate the second concept from the post. One of the driving factors to my writing is to have a written record of my stories. Unlike my wife, I am not blessed with a great memory. I have to write/type things or I will not remember them. By writing, I have a record of what was going on in my life and the lives of those around me. I would like to encourage those who read this to write down their stories as well. I would really like to have a central depository of Sumner/Smith/Culbertson/McAllister stories. It bothers me that I do not really know very much about my Grandparents, let alone those that came before them. I need to make more of an effort to learn, and then to write it down, otherwise it will vanish again. So, write down your families story, and then share it with those whom you love.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
New rookie and a Meth robbery
We volunteered to run a robbery call out in 50's beat, close to Newcastle and US 59. We arrived to find the complainant (victim) trying to climb over a fence and onto the patio of his apartment. Jocelyn stopped him and asked him what happened tonight. I will call him Roy and here is his version of the events. Roy and a "friend," they had known each other for three days, ate dinner at La Mexicana. Then they got into Roy's Infiniti and started driving around the Montrose area. Roy said that they ended up at a CVS. When Roy stopped the car, the friend punched him in the face and told him to leave the keys and to get out of the vehicle. Roy, in fear for his life, complied. The friend then drove off in Roy's vehicle. Roy was worried that since the friend knew where Roy lived, the friend would drive to his apartment and steal Roy's "priceless antiques". You see, Roy is an antique's dealer that also happens to be a narcotics informant for DPS. So, Roy called another friend who picked him up and drove him home where we found him.
While we were talking to Roy, another friend called him. This friend said that he was following Roy's vehicle in the Montrose area. I took Roy's phone and spoke with the friend. I asked the friend to describe the vehicle and to tell me where they were turning. Once I was able to make sure that the friend was following the correct vehicle and giving me good directions, I got on the radio and asked for other officers to look for the vehicle. I continued relaying the directions from the friend until officers were able to find the vehicle. The suspect jumped out of the vehicle and tried to run. He was not successful. Officers took him into custody. Jocelyn and I then took Roy to where his vehicle was located. After arriving, I spoke with the suspect. I will call him Dave and this is his version of the story. Dave said that he was a "hustler" and that he provided "services" for money. He met Roy a few days ago and they had seen each other every day since. Roy gave Dave money and Dave did things to and for Roy. After dinner, Dave shot up with methamphetamine. Roy drove to an adult bookstore and they went inside. Once inside, Dave started feeling weird and asked Roy for the keys. Roy gave him the keys and then Dave drove off in Roy's Infiniti.
We often get different versions of the same story from those involved. The truth is usually somewhere in the middle. We have to decide which parts of everyone's story to believe. In this case, Dave ended up getting charged with robbery. Roy had a small cut on his lip from where Roy said Dave had hit him and Dave admitted to taking Roy's Infiniti. That fits the classic definition of robbery, taking someone's stuff by force. It would not surprise me if Roy provides the money to get Dave out of jail. Roy appeared upset that his new "friend" was going to jail. Now he will have to find another "friend." Unfortunately, there is not a shortage of those willing to take care of Roy's "needs" for a few dollars.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Craig sex and How old do I look?
Early in the shift we were asked to go north up into two district to check by with another unit. That unit had a female in custody and he needed a female officer to check by and search his female prisoner. We arrived at the small seedy motel on the North Freeway and found the other unit. The first thing that I noticed about the motel was the office. Most motels have a nice, well lit office that you walk into and talk to the clerk. Not this place. This office was protected by bullet proof glass and had a sliding drawer to pass payment and keys through. High class. They probably had an hourly rate, but I did not inquire. Adrian spoke to the other officer and then searched the female prisoner. We decided to transport her to jail, so Adrian put her in the backseat of our shop. About that time, the vice officers that arrested her came over to talk to us. Not surprisingly based on the motel, the female had been arrested for prostitution. The vice officers had found her through Craig's List. It is nice of Craig's List to allow you to sell your car, furniture, and booty, all in one place. I wonder what her ad in Craig's List was like? 1995 Honda Accord in good shape for $2000, 32 inch Sony TV like new for $200, and sex with nasty 28 year old me for $200? By the way, her first name was Gwensheca. No comment. The vice officers contacted her and set up a meet and greet. The first officer went into the room in plain clothes. He told her that he had a party of 6 males that were all ready for action and willing to pay. She said, "That sounds fine and I will do whatever for $200 per guy". The vice officer said that sounds great and then called his boys. The female decided to pose in a provocative fashion on the bed to greet the arriving customers. The next male into the room was another vice officer, but he was wearing his raid vest that said POLICE across the chest. The female screamed "NO" and started crying. Poor girl, she was thinking that she was about to make a quick $1200, not go to jail for solicitation. A short time later, Adrian searched her purse. Surprisingly, the only drug Adrian found was Vivarin, the caffeine pill alertness aid. I am guessing that 6 guys who were paying $200 each would have kept her alert, but who knows? Adrian also found condoms in her purse. But she only had 2. I guess she was going to risk it with the other 4 guys. Later as we were driving around, Adrian asked me "How old are you?" I was completely honest and said, "31". Not really, I told her the truth, 39. She responded, "Wow, I would not have guessed that you were that old." How exactly was I supposed to take that? That I look good for my age, or that I act younger than my age, or that I am old and she was just being polite because I was her evaluator? Anyway, it made me laugh, and that is always a good thing.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Getting my point across to a child
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Think like a wolf, not a sheep
The couple was lucky. They were not hurt. They could easily have been severely injured or even killed. They listened to their intuition and experienced the "fight or flight" impulse. In their situation, it was probably a good decision to run. The husband was not going to fight off 4 males by himself. Take a minute and put yourself in the same situation. What would you do? What are you prepared to do? Do you have a plan? Have you talked to your spouse about what to do in these types of situations? Jen and I have talked about some situations. In most situations, she is to run away and call 911. That way I do not have to worry about her, just about myself. If the kids are with us, she grabs the kids and takes off for the same reason. We have not discussed this particular situation. This is the first time that I have seen suspects in this area "hunt" like raptors. Usually they all come at you from the same direction, not from multiple directions. In this situation, I would instruct Jen to hide between cars nearby, take out her phone and call 911. That way I can take out my pistol and take care of things without her in the way. I have the benefit of having a pistol with me all of the time and of extensive training. Without the pistol and the training, I would react differently. Even with those tools, sometimes the best option will be to run. I am fine with that. The important thing is to think about these situations. The best thing is to avoid the situation completely. Be smart about where you park and walk and pay attention to your surroundings. And, get a concealed handgun permit.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
A couple of Germans
Friday, November 13, 2009
OT, property crime, and a strange question
Overtime went by quickly and it was time for another day of evaluating Adrian. We are on day three out of five. She is still very nervous, but she has reined in her driving. I am thankful that he nervous energy in no longer being transferred to the gas pedal. I found out that another rookie is waiting in the wings for me to finish evaluating. Her name is Jocelyn. That will make three females in a row. Strange. During our shift, we did two more property crime reports. One person came outside to find someone else in their vehicle rummaging around. They chased off the suspect. They leave the doors to their vehicles unlocked because that way the suspects do not break the windows in order to look around inside the vehicle. Good solution, but it is sad that it has come to that. The other report was for another vehicle burglary. A female left her laptop on the backseat and went into a bar. She returned later to her vehicle and found the passenger side window had been shattered and her laptop was gone. She had watched a little too much CSI. She noticed a footprint on the passenger seat and the wanted us to take pictures of the footprint. She also wanted us to checked the dirt around the vehicle and make plaster casts of any possible matching footprints for evidence. Okie dokie. We made quite a few traffic stops as well. One particular driver made an illegal left turn, was driving without his license, did not have an inspection sticker, his registration expired in November of 2007, and his vehicle still had Nevada plates even though he had been in Texas for 30 months. Texas gives you 30 days to register your vehicle once you establish residency. He knew his driver's license number so we were able to verify his identity. To top things off, two traffic warrants had been issued for his arrest. They were from 1999. They could not be verified, so he was not going to be arrested. I went up to talk to him while Adrian was writing the ticket. I told him about the warrants and that he was not going to be arrested tonight. He said, "I am not trying to be a smart ass, but aren't the warrants arrest warrants? Why am I not being arrested"? That is not a usual question for us. Why are you not arresting me? Well, because the City spent millions of dollars on a new computer system a few years ago and it routinely goes down at night so we can't verify warrants. Your lucky night, now please sign here.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Thanks for serving Dad
As I looked into the military and read the books and the stories, I was always amazed by the sacrifice and dedication of those that served. That brings me to my Dad. He was an electrician living in Las Cruces and had just married my Mom when he got the notice in the mail from the Selective Service. At that time, the draft worked a little differently than later in the war. You were classified as a 1-A candidate if you were between 18 1/2 and 25 and the older males were drafted first. My Dad was in the upper range of the age bracket and had a skill that was in demand for the war. He was drafted, went to Basic Training and then did a combat tour in Vietnam. He returned home to my Mom, went to college and had a son. Vietnam was not a popular war. Soldiers were not appreciated when then returned from service like they are today. Quite the contrary actually, they were vilified. They were pulled from their lives, sent to fight a war that they did not understand, and then looked down upon when they returned home. That sucks. Dad, I want to say thank you for the sacrifice that you made and for honorably serving in the military. That makes me proud and I am honored to be your son.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Feeling like a bad parent today
What brought this on today? It saddens me that Austin is constantly apologizing. I guess it is my tone or the way that I look at him after he asks me a question, but all to often his question is followed with "never mind" or "I'm sorry". Every time that happens I feel like an inept parent. I want him to feel comfortable coming to me and talking. I want him to have the freedom to ask me anything. I do not want him to think that he is bothering me or annoying me with questions. If he hesitates now with questions about gameboys or iPhones, what will happen later when he is wondering about drugs or sex? When he comes to me with questions or requests, I need to stop what I am doing, give him my full attention, pay attention to my facial expression and tone, and forget about whatever it was that I was doing. He deserves that much from me.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Twentieth Reunion Day 2
Day 2 of Jen's 20th reunion began a little earlier than we expected. Unbeknownst to us, Addy had contracted a stomach virus and at 4 AM, it started to effect her. Jen tended to Addy while I did the initial clean up and then Jen went into hyper cleaning mode. Jen absolutely despises stomach viruses and anytime someone in the house gets one, out comes the yellow gloves, lysol, bleach, and other various chemicals. So for the next few hours, Jen tended to Addy and cleaned at the same time. She is an outstanding multi-tasker.
The stomach virus threw our plans for the rest of the day into chaos. It was time to roll with things and hope for the best. I took Austin to his flag football game. His team won again, they are undefeated with one game left in the season. At the game, I asked my parents if they minded still watching the kids for us that evening so that we could attend the reunion. They said that they had been around sick kids in the past and that they would watch them for us. Big props for that to Mom & Dad. Courtney also came to the game and she took Avery home with her, thanks. After the football game I took Austin to a birthday party. I do not usually go to the hundreds of birthday parties to which my kids are invited. Austin & I had a good time at the party, but thanks Jen for usually taking the kids for me.
We returned home and loaded up the family truckster and took the kids to my parent's house. Addy had not gotten sick since about 7 AM and was in good spirits. Jen and I arrived at the Moody Gardens Hotel around 4 PM. Jen wanted a snack and I wanted a margarita so we headed for the lounge on the top floor of the hotel. We found out that they do not offer any food, just a bowl of mixed nuts. The waitress said that they also have gold fish crackers. We asked for some crackers, a coke, and a margarita. Another Jennifer arrived a short time later and met us in the lounge. She ordered a small bottle of champagne. She finished it and felt pretty good going to the reunion. When the waitress delivered our bill, we found out that we were charged for the gold fish crackers. I guess the 200 percent profit in the alcohol was not enough for Moody Gardens.
We returned to our room and a short time later heard Terry & Mary in the hallway. They were supposed to have the room right next to us. Terry used the key that the desk gave him, walked into the room and there was a woman working on a computer in the room. He quickly said sorry and backed out the door and headed to the desk to get things fixed. Terry returned a short time later and found the new room to be unoccupied. It was about time to head down to the reunion, so we all got dressed up and then met in the hallway.
We were one of the first to arrive at the reunion, it was held in a ballroom at the hotel. There was a bar in the corner, a buffet on the other end, a dance floor, and about 20 round tables that sat 10 to a table. The DJ arrived and started spinning the tunes and dinner was started. The food was good, salad, chicken, rice, sliced steak, veggies, and rolls. There was iced tea on the tables and each person got three tickets for drinks. I stated with a margarita and Jen had a glass of wine. About halfway through dinner, Jen noticed that there was a nat in her wine. Jen is not confrontational and before I could do anything about it, Aimee who was sitting with us called over a waiter. She said, "Her wine has a bug in it, can you get her another glass". He scurried off and returned with a fresh glass filled to the rim. After dinner it was time to mingle. A few times Jen was caught my eye from a few tables away and waved me over. I thought that she wanted to introduce me. No, she was calling over camera boy. I dutifully took a few pictures. I did not take the big camera, so we only have 30-40 pictures instead of 300-400 pictures.
Eventually a few people made it out onto the dance floor. Every time the floor started to fill up and there was some momentum and people were enjoying themselves, the DJ would change the music completely and kill the vibe. That happened at least 4 times throughout the evening. Later in the evening, the DJ played 40 minutes of Tejano music. There were about 12 hispanic people in the ballroom and half of them worked there. I felt like I was in a taqueria on Navigation by the ship channel. It just seemed like a strange selection by the DJ. Terry was on the dance floor quite a bit throughout the evening and eventually Mary and Jen joined him out there. They were able to get me out there for about 10 minutes. Luckily I did not pull anything and there is no video of the event, that I know of.
At one point I was standing by our table and a woman walked up to me. She said, "Who are you?" I responded, "I did not graduate from LaPorte, I married in." She said, "Good enough" and walked away. The most interesting outfit of the night had to go to a graduate's date. She wore a black dress that stopped just south of her rear. Almost the entire back of the dress was see through. Her black panties was on display to everyone. I am not here to judge, but only strippers and porn stars wear dresses like that. It made for a few laughs.
The reunion closed down at midnight and the after party was at Woody's on the seawall. We decided to skip the bar and headed up the room. Terry ordered some dessert and we unwound and discussed the evening over chocolate cake and Italian creme cake. When I noticed Jen starting to fall asleep while leaning against the headboard in their room, I knew it was time to call it a night. Overall, it really seemed like everyone had fun. Jen had a great time talking to all of her old friends. People seemed more open and less clique-ish than at the 10 year reunion and there is already talk on Facebook of a 25 year reunion.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Jen's 20th Reunion, The First Night
How time flies. I can't say that it feels like I just graduated from high school. But it is still hard to believe that it has been over 20 years. My 20th reunion was last year up in the Dallas area. I did not attend. The one person that I would have been interested in seeing was not going to attend. Actually, I do not really keep in touch with anyone from high school. However, I have recently gotten reacquainted with a few friends through Facebook, which has been great. I am not sure if my lack of friends from high school is because I moved away right after high school or because I spent most of my time playing golf while I was in high school. Whatever the reason, it would not have been real fun to sit at my reunion without really knowing anyone.
Skip ahead to this year, and it was time for Jen's 20th reunion. She definitely wanted to attend. Jen has kept i touch with a few people through the years and has reconnected with many others through Facebook. Her class president did a good job through Facebook of planning the event, inviting everyone, and keeping everyone informed about the reunion events during the weekend. A few people met at a bar on Thursday night, but our first night was Friday. The night began with a catered dinner that was served in the high school cafeteria. Since it was an alumni dinner, Jen's sister Courtney attended as well. She somehow persuaded Mike to come with her and he looked very nice in his collared shirt. Terry and Mary met us at the high school and we all ate together. The graduates kept saying how "institutional" the cafeteria looked. To me, it looked like any other high school cafeteria. It was white and a little run down, but not too bad. After the dinner, we all took a walk around the high school. The graduates would make comments like "I spent a lot of time in that room" or "It did not look like this when we in school". I will say that the school seemed huge. Apparently they have connected all of the buildings together since Jen was in school. I have not been back to my high school since graduating, but I do not remember it being that large. After the tour we left the school and started the walk over to the stadium for the homecoming football game. As we were walking, we ran into a group of people that Jen knew. So, Courtney & Mike and Terry & Mary hung around for a few minutes, and then they walked to the stadium. I was not so lucky. The people that we ran into were not going to the game, so any catching up had to happen then. After about 15 minutes, I started getting text messages from Mike and Terry asking if we were ever coming to the game. The best one of the bunch was this jewel from Mike, "Our baby will be born by the time you get here". Classic. That still makes me laugh. Eventually we made it to the game and found a place to sit in the grandstands. The game was extremely boring. LaPorte crushed South Houston. At least LaPorte knows how to schedule a homecoming opponent, unlike the University of Missouri. The Tigers scheduled Texas for homecoming and got boat raced right out of their stadium by halftime. But I digress... During halftime of the game, they had the homecoming king and queen ceremony. They announced all of the candidates and they all walked across the turf with a parent while the announcer blathered on and on about their accomplishments. During this, Courtney heard a name that she recognized. One of the candidates for homecoming king was the son of her high school basketball coach. He was born the year that she graduated from high school. I think that made her feel old. After the game, it was time for the after party at Outriggers. A small bar on the water underneath the Kemah bridge. The parking was less than ideal. Anytime the tide effects the amount of parking for a business, it might be time to look for an alternative. There were quite a few people at the bar. They had a live band out on the bottom deck. That is where the above picture was taken, it is Mandy, Laura, and Jen. We left before most. The smoke started to bother us and we needed to rescue my parents who we nice enough to watch the kids so we could attend. Overall, we had a nice time and it was a good start to the weekend.Friday, November 6, 2009
Surprise, another rookie
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Slow but interesting
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Another trial
Monday, November 2, 2009
Austin & the pastor
Austin then expressed a desire to follow Christ in believer's baptism. I sent our pastor, Dr. Creech a message through Facebook. We scheduled a time for Austin to talk with Dr. Creech about his faith. Today was the day. I picked up Austin after his Sunday school class and he was very anxious. He thought that it was going to be a test and he would give the wrong answers. We found Dr. Creech and he invited us back to his office. Jen, Addy, Austin, and myself all sat down. Dr. Creech then started asking Austin about his faith and beliefs. He asked Austin what he thought sin was and why he believed in Christ. He asked why he wanted to be baptized and why he needed to follow Christ to gain eternal life. Austin relaxed and gave some good and honest answers that were consistent with conversations that we have had with him in the past. After Dr. Creech was satisfied that Austin did in fact believe, he asked if we had a time in mind for the baptism. Yes we do, and it will be the Sunday before Thanksgiving.
Dr. Creech then asked Austin if he had any questions. His first question impressed us, his second did not. First question, "When you are preaching, how do you remember everything?" Second question, "Where did you buy that chair?" The mind of an 8 year old.
Dr. Creech then took us up to the baptistry. He showed Austin the room where he would change clothes. Austin was impressed with the waders that Dr. Creech wears during baptisms. He then took Austin down into the baptistry, it was empty. He explained that the lights would go down and where he needed to stand and all of the other things. After that he showed Austin the projection room and Dr. Creech and Austin made hand shadows in front of the screen. Dr. Creech did a great job of putting Austin at ease and making Austin and us feel very welcome. We are looking forward to that Sunday and hope those that live close can come to see him be baptized.