Mini Me 2

It was an interesting coincidence to read Jen's thoughts about Addy. I have been thinking along the same lines lately in regards to myself and Austin. Not only do children seem to bring out the best and worst in a parent, they copy those same behaviors.

Tonight was Austin's first Upward flag football practice of the season. His team ranges in grade from 3rd to 5th, 8 to 10 years old. Austin is one of the youngest boys on the team. During practice, the team did a flag pulling drill. We, I am one of the coaches, set up a 15 yard box, spread the boys out, and said go. The object is to pull as many flags as possible. We did the drill twice and Austin's flag was pulled immediately both times by older boys. He sighed and became obviously frustrated and down on himself. I told him to keep trying and to get flags. He rallied and kept trying. Seeing him react with frustration was like watching myself in the mirror.

When I was his age I played soccer and little league baseball. I was coordinated but not athletically gifted. I was also small like Austin. Quick side note, one of my very few regrets is not playing high school football. I played golf for fun with my dad. I eventually took golf more seriously. Mainly because I was better at golf than other sports. You see, I am competitive, some would say very competitive. At least genitically, I was predisposed to be a good golfer. I like to win. I thought my best chance to win came from playing golf.

Austin also likes to win. When he does not win or do well, he gets frustrated, just like I do. He has seen me get frustrated. Unfortunately, I have modeled that behavior for him. I became mindful of that fact from watching him react the same way that I do. Since realizing that, I have tried, somewhat successfully to react differently. At least I pay attention to my reactions when I know he is watching. I do not think that there is anything wrong with being competitive or wanting to win. I just want Austin to realize that it is ok, and can still be fun if you do not win. I do want him to strive to get better and to want to win. I want him to try harder to win. I do not want him to give up if something is tough. But, you do not always win.   

He also has a tendency to get down on himself and to be negative. This absolutely breaks my heart to hear coming from my son's mouth. I want so much for my kids to have a high self-esteem. Not cocky or arrogant, but I want them to like themselves. I want them to know that God created them in his image. I want them to be happy in their skin and to enjoy who they are. I try to reinforce what amazing kids they are. Addy is not quite old enough to grasp this, but Austin certainly is. I want Austin to know that I am proud of him and that he is a great kid. Jen and I have been blessed with wonderful children, and they need to know that we feel that way. 

Posted via email from will7079's posterous