Over the last week I have had to do more driving than usual. I have had to go to the HPD academy for in-service training. The academy is up north by Intercontinental Airport, so I have had some time in the car. Lately I have been listening almost exclusively to podcasts in the car. For some reason, with this additional available time, I decided to listen to an audiobook. Since I had already started Beautiful Boy, I thought it would be the logical choice to pick up again. It has been quite awhile since a book has really gripped me to the point of not wanting to put it down or to keep listening in this case, but this one has me. As the extended title suggests, the story is about a father and his son who becomes addicted to crystal meth. I know that the story would not effect me the way that it has if I were not a parent. However, it is gut wrenching to listen to David Sheff, the father who wrote the book and also narrates the audiobook, tell his story. I can not help but put myself in his shoes as I listen.
I am only in the middle of chapter 5 and Nic, the son, is just about to start high school in the San Francisco area. The previous chapters have described Nic's childhood and some early warning signs of possible drug abuse. Nic started with marijuana, the so-called gateway drug. It seems that everyone that uses drugs started with marijuana and every hardcore drug user will tell you that they began with marijuana. Nic started with marijuana in middle school! At the age of 12! David, the father, tells of going up to the school to talk with the school counselor after finding marijuana in Nic's backpack. The school counselor tells him that middle school is when all of the kids try drugs. Nik is younger than I am, in his mid 20's, so times might have changed a little. But drugs in middle school? That surprised me. I had not even seen drugs until the police academy. I did not fall off the turnip truck either. I grew up just outside of Houston and Dallas in my middle school and high school years. My high school graduating class had over 600 students. I did not go to all of the parties, but I went to enough and I was not aware of any drug use by fellow classmates. I was aware of alcohol use in high school, and I am sure that drugs were used as well, but I did not see it.
A little closer to home, Austin is 8 years old. In a little less than three years he will be in middle school. That scares the crap out of me to put it bluntly. I usually do not worry about things that I can not control, but how can you not worry about your child and drugs? That is such a young age to be faced with such important decisions that could be life altering. I did not think that the time would come so soon when I would have to let go so to speak and hope that we raised him right. To trust him to make the tough choices, at 11 or 12 years old. Wow. Austin is a great kid who usually makes good decisions. He also despises smoke, but peer pressure can be hard to overcome.
On a side note, in the prologue, the author talks about waiting for the phone to ring or for a knock on the door when Nik is out at night. That has to be absolutely agonizing. It reminded me of a time when I did that to my parents. I had a strict but fair and reasonable curfew in high school. When that curfew was up, I knew to be home. The summer after high school, I went to a Def Leopard concert with friends one night. Afterwards, we went to one of their homes and started drinking. I do not remember the exact details (I am sure my mother does) but I was not at the house where I told them I would be. My parents got worried and went out looking for me where I said that I was and I was not there. For all they knew, I was dead on the side of the road somewhere, and I am sure those thoughts went through their heads. It was not my best moment. I know that I apologized then, but I understand a little better now what I put you through. I am sorry Mom and Dad. That had to be brutal.
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